Monday, December 3, 2012
I'm not even sure how to begin this post since it's really a mash up of a lot of things. I have come to a season of change in my life and gained many wonderful and beautiful things. Of course nothing can be gained without loss and of course in my case this came with a great loss.
So on gaining....I landed a wonderful job at a beautiful and unique wedding venue. My time at this job has brought me more joy than I have ever had on a personal-career level. I have grown immensely from how I deal with people to how I view myself. While still humbled, gone are the days of placing myself under others levels. I have always been a giver and with reckless abandon I gave my time, money and life. Though I still believe in selfless giving, no longer have I done so at the disadvantage to my well being. As women we are born with the inherent feeling of "not-enough", and while this is a battle we all must struggle to win, I have grown leaps and bounds in placing value into all areas of my life. I cannot adequately put into words how freeing this has become. To live a life of conviction, unapologetic, and to be serving in a manner that not only honors others but myself as well has been one of the best lessons I have learned to date. Through this job I have also gained many irreplaceable friendships. Traits that I never believed I could posses (including a fountain of energy) have rubbed off on me. Each of these people have taught me things about hard working caring people and a whole heap about myself and areas I need to grow.
On losing....I've been lead down a really great path and re-reading the last paragraph I am filled to the brim with gratitude and joy. But there is a bit of sadness is my life. I am no longer engaged. Sometimes things fall apart and that's all I really know to say about the whole situation. It's really no ones business what or how things happened. I can say this though: cherish your life. Hold fast and with extreme care those people you value most in your life. Be honest with your heart always. Sometimes truths are painful, but if you are true and pure in your intent to be honest it will be good for all parties involved.